Halloween is my favourite time of year, as a huge horror film fan it’s a great excuse to get out the Friday 13th DVDs. I wanted to share my sheer frustration at horror movie cliches, so here are my 10 tips on how to survive;
If you’re alone in the house, don’t forget the back door, which you’ve probably left open, along with all the windows. Close them. All of them.
BUMPS IN THE NIGHT
If you hear a noise, DON’T investigate. You will die.
Sadly, the 1970s (Halloween/Friday 13th) those hormone riddled teenagers didn’t have mobile phones, in 2016, we do – use it, call the police or the local hard case. You’re going to need all the help you can get.
ABSTINENCE: SEX = DEATH
Don’t have sex. This one seems to be tough for anyone who stars in a horror movie but, if you can, just abstain until ‘it’s all over’. If you can’t abstain and your partner says “I’ll be right back..”. Say your goodbyes.
As well as sex, more sins include drink, drugs, partying. Basically, don’t enjoy yourself. You’ll die.
If you see a child standing still in the road, on it’s own. Don’t go near it. It doesn’t need your help.
If you’ve heard a local tale about massacres that happen in a certain area, avoid that area. Like the plague.
If a figure in a mask comes up to you in the dark, you know the drill. Right?
Why would you leave the group that you’re in? This is something that’s a constant baffle to me. Strength in numbers people!
After you’ve spent a relentless age fighting with the evil one, they’re laying flat out on the floor. HE’S NOT DEAD. Run. Just go, don’t hang around celebrating. Just go. It’s not over yet.
NOPE / EVER
Don’t go into the woods……….a no brainer.
Photo taken of my character dressed as Jason Voorhees in Grand Theft Auto 5 Online, using the Rockstar Editor. See more here.